Hi, I'm Amie

Hi, I'm Amie

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I'm a certified coach, passionate wayfinder and life long seeker.

At my core, I'm equal parts romantic, cowgirl and aspiring bohemian. I am a lover of compassion, an aficionado of authenticity and an unapologetic possibilitarian. My work is centered around thought wrangling, purpose pinpointing and joy alchemy.  

I believe each of us has a unique and beautiful light to shine on this world, including you.

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Tuesday
Sep252018

Me... Before I'm Brave Enough to Be Me

Do you ever find yourself putting other women on pedestals? Looking up to them as if who they are, what they do or what they've got is totally beyond reach for you? 

I came across the website Barefoot Five, after googling Brooke Hampton from a quote I loved of hers online, and I had full body goosebumps reading through her site. This woman, I thought, wow! She is bold and brave and authentic and she is totally letting her freak flag fly... and it kinda seems like she doesn't give a shit if we do or we don't approve. 

Of course, those are all of my judgements, and she likely is not Wonder Woman of the interwebs... I'm sure she puts her Be Bold pants on one leg at time. But still, I had this feeling of admiration that what she was is beyond my reach... like, I love what she's saying and doing, but I don't think I have that in me.

And then I had a thought, that struck me almost as hard as the goosebumps had moments before.

What if she is me, before I am brave enough to be me?


What if the women we idolize and admire actually represent EXACTLY what we are made of, EXACTLY what we have inside of us?

What if when we admire, we realize that we are not admiring something beyond us, but instead acknowledging something that is within us already?

And then slowly, with that knowing, we couragously practice becoming what we already are inside.

 

Thursday
Dec212017

Finding Peace Amidst Holiday Angst

Everywhere I shop this week, the person at the register inquires about whether I'm all ready for Christmas? They mean, "Have I bought all the gifts and food I need to celebrate the Holidays?" "Almost", or "getting there", my answer has been.

But what does it actually mean to most of us to be readyfor the Holidays? Is it all about the shopping and wrapping and food preparation? Who's inquiring about or helping us prepare our emotional states? How will we deal with the inevitable stresses and triggers that arise during family gatherings, or lack there of during the Holiday Season?

I have a couple of ideas that may help you navigate the pitfalls of your upcoming celebrations. 


Create a Plan

I recently read, in the book The Power of Habit, that we are much more likely to be successful at implementing change if we write out a detailed plan of our anticipated actions. I know, who the hell has time to sit and write out detailed plans this time of year?! But, on the flip side, who really wants a repeat of the internal disharmony, stress and strife that's shown up so many times before at this time of year either?  

All you need is 30 minutes of peace and quiet, a journal and maybe some calming music and a candle.

Set an Intention

First spend a few minutes meditating or visualizing your best self over the next several days. How does she feel inside? How does she show up at Holiday gatherings? Is she peaceful, present, non-reactive, loving... or stressed, explosive, triggered, sad, angry? It's important to visualize your best case scenario... how you'd ideally like to be. 

Write it Down

Next, in this state of mind of envisioning how you'd like to be, write out a plan of how you will deal with anticipated stressors.... like... aggressive family members, over tired and over sugared children, grief from recent loss or change. Who will you be when these challenges present themselves? How will you react? How will you feel on the inside?

Take breath and Gratitude Breaks

Several times a day, and especially at Holiday gathers and festivities, stop and take 3 deep breaths. Then think of three things you are grateful for and repeat those in your mind three times. Then take 3 more deep breaths.

Practice Self Compassion

Cut yourself some slack. You, and none of the rest of the humans on the planet, will behave perfectly over the next week. When you do find yourself triggered, reactive or filled with contempt, anger or sadness, try to find a moment of peace and quiet, and in the words of Dr. Shefali Tsabary, ask yourself... What in me is being triggered? Why am I reacting with this way? What about my unmothered self is being reflected back at me right now?

Try to Keep The Big Picture of Your Life in Mind

I know several friends who have lost loved ones this year. And many more who are grieving significant life changes. During loved ones passings, I've heard stories of family and friends holding vigil, praying together, forgiving, loving, laughing. Steve Jobs said, in his famous Stanford Commencement Speech, "Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose." Sorry to get all morbid right before Christmas - but I believe it is such an important perspective shift to think about our time on Earth and with our loved ones as limited. There are no guarantees. What would you want this Christmas to look like if you knew it would be your last with the people you love?

Wednesday
Jun102015

Working on My Masterpiece

Working on My Masterpiece

My Masterpiece

Monday
Apr062015

The Only Person I Can Change Is Me

mamawhisperer

Sunday
Mar012015

Use What's in Your Toolbox

 Your Toolbox

Image from www.shopwiltsiebridge.com

Have you ever been cruising along in your life, head down, doing what needs to be done, thinking everything’s just FINE, when something smacks you upside the head to tell you you’re really not? 

For the last several years, I’ve been in a really good place. Happy. No major complaints. Living in alignment with who I think I am. Grateful… lucky… blessed.

Bam!

One Saturday night a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for bed, at my normal and way beyond my years ridiculously early bedtime, when a huge wave of anxiety came over me. It’s been a long time, but if you’ve ever experienced a panic attack or extreme anxiety, you recognize immediately the intense discomfort of that sort of thing coming on. No matter how long it’s been, the body remembers exactly how to ride that bike of fear.

In the past, I’ve been able to rationalize when panic would set in. It’s shown up on a plane, or in a hotel room when I was questioning my career, thousands of miles away from my little babies.  

But now this crap had found me in my comfort zone, within the walls of my cozy, safe nest, when I was thinking I was just FINE. What?

“This is scary.” I thought, “If this is happening HERE and NOW with absolutely NOTHING bad happening in my life – I’m for sure going to wind up a mental institution someday. This is the beginning of the end. I’m going crazy.”

If you’ve never experienced the sensations and thoughts that accompany depression, anxiety or panic, you might be uncomfortable or worried after reading my thoughts above. But if you have, at any point in your lifetime, you could be filled with understanding or even relief that you’re not the only one who’s brain goes to these bazaar places.

(Side note:  The best tidbit of street psychology I’ve ever heard is:  If you are worried you’re going crazy, you’re probably not. Crazy people don’t know their crazy.)

This theory doesn’t bring much comfort when in the midst of being consumed by the fear that these ridiculously unpleasant feelings, thoughts and sensations might never go away.

Hard as it to remember while panicking or moping in the throws of one of these states, these sensations show up for a reason. They are gifts disguised in wolf’s clothing. They are the whispers in our life that come to knock us upside the head (with a brick as Oprah says) because we haven’t been listening to our own, internal voice and guidance.

I’ve learned every time I’ve gone through this cycle of FINE… to fear of crumbling, and although I admit I hoped I’d never visit it again, this time I reassured myself of all the skills I have now that I didn’t posses then. I started pulling out tools and put them to work.

Tool – Be vulnerable

I went to my husband and talked openly and honestly about what I was experiencing.

Tool – Reach out

I called my dear friend Nicole, who is a Doctor of Chinese Medicine and Shaman in the Bay Area, to ask for help. She suggested it could be something going on with my body… possibly adrenals. She reminded me to go back to a book she recommended a long time ago and give that protocol a chance again.

Tool – Clean it up!

A term my cousin and I have used since college to recognize we’d wrecked our bodies after a bit too much fun. A deliberate effort to get back on track. I always feel better, more grounded and less emotionally weighed down, when I eat and live cleanly. 

The book Nicole recommended is called Revive by Dr. Frank Lipman. In it, Dr. Lipman suggests eliminating several foods over his six-week program. I had a sense of urgency and dove in all at once. I cut out sugar, caffeine (except for my one cup of green tea. The morning coffee buzz is a tough one to kick), alcohol (the nightly glass of red wine, also hard to let go of – gone), gluten, dairy, soy, preservatives and all processed foods (ok, almost all) from my diet.

Might sound extreme, but this is a tool that I know works for me. I’ve recently read articles that discuss scientific research linking inflammation to depression and imbalances in gut flora connected to anxiety and depression. The correlation between physical and mental/emotional wellness makes good sense to me, but being stringent with our diet does not create a state of well-being alone.

Tool – Get help

I chose coaching this time, but therapy has been incredibly helpful for me too.

Tool – Be present

Study after study suggests meditation is extremely effective at treating anxiety and depression, not to mention all of its other added benefits. (I know this, I believe this, I preach this, and yet I hadn’t been practicing recently because I was FINE. Oh, and too busy).   

Tool – Slow Down

Our lives use all kinds of brick walls to remind us to get off that “I’m so busy” bus. Prioritizing everything = prioritizing nothing. I’m taking time to get clear on what matters most, to me, and putting my focus and attention there. I’m also reminding myself that multitasking is a really easy way for me to become completely absent from any given moment.

I’m still uncovering the layers of what this spell of anxiety is here to tell me.  And I’ve been reminded, once again, that it ironically ALWAYS shows up to help me. I am clearer, more joyful and more invigorated in the weeks post my mini-meltdown than I have been in quite some time.

If you’re struggling with some of your own old, or new, uninvited emotional guests, remember to return to your own toolbox. Take action to stir things up. Jot down a list of things that have helped you in the past, and one by one or all together, give them a try now.

Not sure where to begin? Ask yourself, what has worked in the past? When you think back to a wonderful, joyful and centered period in your life… how were you living? What were you focused on or working towards? How did you eat / sleep? How did you spend your time? Check in with your present day self. What kick, protocol or guru’s instruction feels true to you?

Hint: Truth feels like freedom in your body. It’s light and expansive, tingly or buzzy, and it just makes sense to YOU. It feels like a resounding ‘YES’ erupting from deep within you when you read it or hear it or see it.